When The Queen dies

This is just a random thought that occurred to me, but when the Queen eventually dies Britain will temporarily be a crazy place.



There she is.



I would say at least half of the people living in Britain at this moment were born after The Queen began her reign.

Meaning they have never experienced life without The Queen being around. Now she really doesn't do fuck all other than pass the occasional law and waste tax payers money on ridiculous personal services. But that's a different topic.

When Queen E eventually passes her sell by date, there will be a shitstorm among our population. In particular those sad bastards that basically worship The Royal Family. I really can't understand why people love them so much but whatever, I'm not here to judge...

On the day of her death and possibly also funeral, we will have a national holiday every year after the day arrives. Can't complain about that, even though they fuck up schedules for a lot of people but at least we get to slob around all day to commemorate The Queen's final day on this planet.

It will be one of the biggest  breaking news stories of all time. Bigger than Michael Jackson and Tupac's death combined. Eastenders will be interrupted to tell us what's happened, maybe even Jeremy Kyle. Pure pandemonium..

Now I won't really care when The Queen actually pushes daisies. She is 88 now, and even with her Royal Family exclusive multi-million pound medical treatments she will eventually decease. I don't want her to die, I'm not a sick fuck. I just won't be crying in my bed for days when she does.

The point of this pointless blog is to just make you think how The Queen's death will affect you.

Don't lie, you probably won't give a shit.

The British Accent

The British Accent

According to a recent poll conducted by Time Out magazine, the British accent is the most attractive on the planet, says 11,000 people in 24 cities around the world.

I can see why people like the British accent. We're a small island, with a relatively small population in comparison to the influence we have on the world. There's this fascination foreign countries have with us, our music, our fashion and our tea drinking culture. Maybe it's because we're just different, I mean we drive on the opposite side of the road compared to most places. Really we're just a strange place.

British celebrities also create an insane amount of attention from around the world, I'm pretty sure Americans were more exited about the Royal Wedding and Royal baby more than the majority of us were.

 (For just £2 a session I will give you the British accent you've always dreamed of! Speak like Prince Charles in a matter of days!)

 But thinking about it, I'm convinced everyone outside of the UK believes our whole population speaks like the Queen, when this is so far from the truth it's funny. I'd guess 5% of our current population actually speaks eloquently and in the same way as the Queen.

If the Brit lovers were to visit Essex, Liverpool, Yorkshire or any other location where the accents are... fucking annoying, they would definitely be in for a surprise when asking for directions to the nearest "British tea house"